Is it Torture or Trauma? It didn't feel safe to feel fury, pain, dejected by rejection.
One wrong move, you'll provoke it. They are not monsters, they are humans, but inside me, it feels insane.
I picked a pen up out of roses just to free my shame
I wasn't involved in the game, preoccupied with getting out its way
Getting out of my room, getting out of this weight
Best smile, tiny teeth, inside I'm rabid tortured
If I could spell it out, have it out, but I'm out of culture
To reflect upon my past, one giant abyss, in one gulp, it will destroy you
I'm not feeling okay, insecurities spilled out, and I got to put them away
They want me to be better then, but I've never seen it done
I can't comprehend the hand I was dealt, my multi-verse denied,
In each one of them splits, I never survived, looking at me strangely, but my merits a crime
I am the protector of my future and the forgiver of my lies
You'll be good. It gets better with time, but everyday past, I get ready to die.
The hold on my throat has me barely alive.
Forever in suffocation, complements don't pay down payments
This is my stay-in, 28-year isolation. Your good feelings won't save me
Chances are you'll grow old, but what if I grow fake and jaded?
Pressed for promises that I'll pay your praises
I get a head full of myself and ask you to keep me out of your prayers
Up to now, the better of me has stayed out of cages
Is it bitter or sweet? Everyone you encounter lauds the achievements you've reached.
Good person, but what's inside me that's devouring me?
It's insidious. It's clawing through me.
What torture is freeing the demons circling me?
Every time I am asked to reach, I relive it, do this for yourself, don't do it for me.
If I love you, I really love you. You were a present of peace
For every little moment,
For every little piece
I would have cherished being better, but it was never for me. So how could I attain what I've never had if I never believed? I am afraid of my past and their bitter beliefs. I am a beautiful chariot, a carriage of speech. I am an invaluable treasure, the measure for each one of my peers. I am a friend, a protector, but I've never been a lover of me.