I held expectations when I should have not. I should have never believed promises and I should have trusted my gut. I did not listen and I was ill prepared.
Looking out for you
Eyes on the space broken up by forgiveness and balance
I emptied it out, I went too hard for you
I had many expectations and I wrote em all out
This was before you left and while you were gone
Even though I had crossed your name out before. I knew it wasn’t enough to forget you.
Completely.
Listen to yourself when you do these things.
You knew she was bad for your hell, for your health. Yet you sought her out.
In every crevice you went. Down every alley. Into any room as long as she was there.
You made a fool of yourself every single time. There is something to be said about fools. Optimistic fools that know what is to come. Yet, they forget and when it comes.
Trauma had arrived and reduced your sanity to its peril.
They have no room for it. Their body shakes in a cold fever. Their heart explodes into a million pieces.
Why must I be complacent? Why must I be all or nothing? It makes for a ridiculous swing of emotions. It makes me culprit to ultimate satisfaction and destruction.
There is no balance to me. There is all or nothing. Every missed message is a slight. Every day gone is a slit in my wrist.